Remember the first time you typed "HOW DO YOU TURN THIS ON" and that ridiculous sports car rolled into your medieval battlefield? Man, that moment changed everything. We've all been there - stuck on that impossible mission, resources drained, enemy battering down your gates. That's when Age of Empires 2 cheats become irresistible.
Honestly, I used to feel guilty about using AoE2 cheat codes until I realized almost everyone does it at some point. Just last month, my cousin admitted he only beat the Saladin campaign thanks to "ROCK ON". This guide won't judge you. Instead, I'll show you exactly how to use these cheats responsibly, which ones are actually fun, and when you might regret it.
Getting Down to Business: Using Cheats Properly
Using cheats in AoE2 isn't rocket science, but I've seen folks mess it up. Here's the real deal step-by-step:
During any game, just press Enter to open chat, type your chosen code (exactly as shown), then press Enter again. No punctuation, no capitals unless specified. If nothing happens, you probably typed "POLO" instead of "Polo" - capitalization matters for some codes.
Important note: Cheats don't work in multiplayer unless you're playing with friends in a private game with cheats enabled. Trust me, I learned this the hard way trying to impress my buddies during a LAN party. Awkward silence followed.
Warning: Using any Age of Empires 2 cheats will disable achievements for that game session. If you're grinding for that "Medieval Maestro" Steam achievement, finish it clean first. I made this mistake on the Barbarossa campaign and had to replay three hours.
Platform Differences You Should Know
Not all versions handle AoE2 cheat codes the same way:
Platform | Cheat Status | Special Notes |
---|---|---|
Original CD Version | ✅ Fully working | Case-sensitive codes |
HD Edition (Steam) | ✅ Fully working | Same as original |
Definitive Edition | ✅ Fully working | Added new cheats like 'I don't exist' |
Xbox Game Pass Version | ❌ Disabled | No cheat support at all |
Multiplayer Matches | ❌ Disabled | Unless custom lobby with cheats enabled |
Frankly, the Xbox situation stinks. I bought it for my nephew last Christmas and watching his disappointment when cheats didn't work was brutal. Stick to PC versions for full cheat freedom.
The Ultimate Age of Empires 2 Cheat Code Encyclopedia
After wasting more hours than I'd admit testing these, here's the definitive list. Some are game-changers, others are pure nonsense - I'll tell you which are actually worth using.
Essential Resource Cheats Everyone Uses
Let's be real - these are why most people look up AoE2 cheats. When you're down to your last 10 wood, these save your campaign:
Cheat Code | What It Does | My Rating | Pro Tip |
---|---|---|---|
ROCK ON | Gives +1,000 stone | ★★★★★ | Castle spamming made easy |
LUMBERJACK | Gives +1,000 wood | ★★★★★ | Early game lifesaver |
ROBIN HOOD | Gives +1,000 gold | ★★★★☆ | Less useful post-Imperial |
CHEESESTEAK JIMMY'S |
Gives +1,000 food | ★★★★☆ | Villager creation frenzy |
MARCO | Reveals entire map | ★★★☆☆ | Kills exploration fun |
POLO | Removes fog of war | ★★★☆☆ | Better than MARCO imo |
Personal confession: I've developed a bad habit of tapping ROBIN HOOD whenever gold drops below 500. It's like digital caffeine - gives you that quick resource rush.
Military Cheat Codes That Change Everything
These are where the real fun begins. But fair warning - they can make the game boring fast if overused.
Cheat Code | Effect | Best Used When |
---|---|---|
HOW DO YOU TURN THIS ON |
Spawns Cobra Car | When siege weapons frustrate you |
TORPEDO# (replace # with enemy number) |
Kills selected enemy | That one annoying AI player |
BLACK DEATH | Kills all enemy units | Final stand moments |
I R WINNER | Instant victory | When seriously fed up |
WIMPYWIMPY WIMPY |
Self-destructs your units | Absolutely never (why does this exist?) |
FLYING DUTCHMAN | Battleships get ranged attack | Water maps only |
That Cobra Car cheat? Pure gold. First time I spawned twenty of them against the computer, watching them shred through knights like paper was hilarious. But it gets old fast - now I only use it when the AI pulls some ridiculous move.
Definitive Edition Exclusive Cheats
The DE version added some fresh tricks. Here are the standouts:
- I DON'T EXIST - Makes all units invisible to enemies (until they attack)
- THANKS FOR FISH - Spawns a random assortment of fish resources
- WHOS YOUR DADDY - Invincible units (warning: makes game painfully boring)
- TO SMITHEREENS - Gives cannon galleons explosive rounds
"I DON'T EXIST" is surprisingly strategic. I once sent invisible monks to convert an enemy's entire economy. Felt dirty but satisfying.
When Should You Actually Use AoE2 Cheats?
After years of playing, here's my cheat philosophy:
Good Scenarios:
- Beating that one campaign mission that's blocked you for weeks
- Testing unit matchups without resource grind
- Creating ridiculous battle scenarios with friends
- When you just want to unwind with god mode after work
Bad Scenarios:
- First playthrough of any campaign
- Multiplayer (unless agreed upon)
- When actually trying to improve skills
- During achievement hunts
My golden rule? If you're getting frustrated enough to quit, use cheats. Better that than abandoning the game. But try beating each campaign clean once first - the satisfaction is real.
Surprising Benefits of Using Cheats
Contrary to popular belief, Age of Empires 2 cheats can actually help you improve:
- Unit Testing: Spawn unlimited resources to compare unit strengths properly
- Map Exploration: Use MARCO to study AI base layouts for future games
- Mechanics Understanding: Watch how WHOS YOUR DADDY affects combat calculations
- Scenario Creation: Build epic custom battles without resource limitations
Cheat Codes Impact on Game Performance
Will using too many Age of Empires 2 cheats crash your game? Probably not, but there are performance quirks:
Situation | Performance Impact | Solution |
---|---|---|
Spawning 100+ Cobra Cars | Major frame rate drop | Don't go overboard |
Using BLACK DEATH on huge maps | Brief game freeze | Save before using |
Infinite resources + max population | Late game slowdown | Better hardware helps |
Frequent cheat activation | No noticeable impact | None needed |
I once crashed my old laptop spawning 200 Cobra Cars. Lesson learned. Modern systems handle cheats better, but still - practice cheat moderation.
Frequently Asked Questions About AoE2 Cheats
Do achievements get permanently blocked if I use cheats?
No! This is super important. Achievements are only disabled for that specific game session. Once you restart without cheats, achievement progress resumes normally. I've tested this extensively across Steam and DE versions.
Can I get banned for using cheats?
Absolutely not in single player. Even in multiplayer, private games with friends where everyone agrees to cheats are fine. The only ban risk is using third-party cheat programs in ranked matches - but that's different from built-in cheat codes.
Why don't some cheats work in my game?
Three common reasons:
- You're on Xbox version (no cheat support)
- Playing ranked multiplayer (cheats disabled)
- Typing error (watch for spaces and capitalization)
Are Definitive Edition cheats different from original?
Most original cheats work identically in DE, but there are bonus ones like "I DON'T EXIST". The only exception is "TO SMITHEREENS" which got enhanced effects in DE. Everything else behaves the same across versions.
What's the most underrated cheat code?
Hands down "NATURAL WONDERS". It gives control of wildlife - sending stampeding elephants through an enemy base never gets old. Surprisingly useful for early raids when you're low on military.
The Dark Side of Using Cheats Too Often
I learned this the hard way during my first Joan of Arc campaign playthrough. Relying on "ROCK ON" for castles meant I never learned proper stone management. When I tried playing clean, my economy collapsed by the Imperial Age.
Overusing cheats creates bad habits:
- Neglecting resource balance fundamentals
- Underestimating unit counter systems
- Poor scouting techniques
- Zero defensive planning
A Balanced Approach to AoE2 Cheating
After 20+ years with this game, here's my cheat philosophy:
- First campaign playthrough = zero cheats
- Second playthrough = cheats allowed only after failing a mission twice
- Third playthrough = go wild with Cobra Cars for pure fun
Final Thoughts: Cheat Smart, Not Often
That sports car moment never gets old, does it? Whether you're stuck on Attila the Hun mission 3 or just want to unleash dinosaur mayhem (yes, that's a real cheat!), Age of Empires 2 cheats offer a different way to enjoy this classic. Just know when to put them away.
What's your favorite cheat memory? Mine involves 50 exploding sheep against an unsuspecting AI. Sometimes it's not about winning - it's about creating stories. Now if you'll excuse me, I hear the call of "HOW DO YOU TURN THIS ON" for one quick stress-relief session before dinner.
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