So you've heard about Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life. Maybe a friend won't stop talking about it, or you saw it referenced in some online debate. I remember picking it up after a rough patch - got laid off, relationship troubles, the whole mess. Figured it couldn't hurt. Three years and two dog-eared copies later, here's what I wish someone had told me before I dove in.
Who's Jordan Peterson and Why Do People Care About His Rules?
Jordan Peterson's this Canadian psychology professor who blew up around 2016. Interesting guy - clinical psychologist, studied Soviet propaganda, taught at Harvard. His 12 Rules for Life book came out in 2018 and just exploded. Sold over five million copies worldwide last I checked. What makes it different from other self-help stuff? Peterson mixes psychology, mythology, and religious stories with practical advice. Some find it brilliant, others pretentious. I fall somewhere in between.
The Core Philosophy Behind the 12 Rules
Peterson's big idea boils down to responsibility. He thinks life's chaos, and we create order through small, daily actions. Stand up straight, clean your room - that sort of thing. It's not glamorous, but that's the point. The 12 rules for life Jordan Peterson outlined became popular because they're concrete when most advice is vague. Instead of "find your passion," it's "treat yourself like someone you're responsible for helping." Feels more actionable when you're drowning.
Personal take: The rules saved me during my unemployment funk. Making my bed every morning (Rule 7) felt stupid initially, but after three weeks? That tiny win started my day differently. Didn't magically fix everything, but built momentum.
Breaking Down All 12 Rules for Life
Let's get into each rule. I'll explain what Peterson says, but also what actually helped me and where I struggled. Because let's be honest - some rules are easier to swallow than others.
Rule 1: Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back
Peterson connects posture to confidence and hierarchy. Lobsters and serotonin, blah blah. Practical version? How you carry yourself changes how people treat you AND how you feel. I tested this at networking events. Slumping vs squaring shoulders changed conversations. Not earth-shattering, but noticeable.
Action steps for Rule 1:
- Set phone reminders to check posture hourly
- Invest in ergonomic chair if you work desk jobs (I got the $299 Steelcase Series 1)
- Practice power poses before stressful meetings
Rule 2: Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping
This one hit hard. Peterson noticed people medicate their pets faithfully but skip their own pills. We're terrible at self-care. I tracked my habits before/after this rule. Ate junk food while cooking organic meals for my dog. Pathetic, right? Started scheduling my health like work meetings.
| Self-Care Area | Before Rule 2 | After Implementing |
|---|---|---|
| Sleep schedule | Erratic (3am-11am) | Consistent 11pm-7am |
| Medication adherence | Forgot 3-4 times weekly | Phone alerts + pill organizer |
| Exercise | None for months | 20-min daily walks |
Biggest challenge? Fighting guilt about "selfishness." Still working on that.
Rule 3: Make Friends With People Who Want the Best for You
Peterson says toxic relationships will drown you. Hard truth time: I ended a 15-year friendship after this chapter. Guy constantly undermined my career moves. Peterson compares it to rescuing drowning victims - they'll pull you under. Harsh but accurate.
Red flags I learned to spot:
- Friends who cancel plans last-minute repeatedly
- People who gossip immediately when you meet
- "Supporters" who discourage growth opportunities
This rule gets controversial. Some say it's individualistic. My take? Life's too short for energy vampires.
Rule 4: Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not to Who Someone Else Is Today
Social media makes this impossible, right? Peterson argues comparison destroys motivation. I started tracking micro-wins instead. Examples:
- Read 10 pages today vs 0 yesterday? Win
- Cooked dinner instead of Uber Eats? Win
Created a "progress jar" - dropped a note for each small victory. After 60 days, rereading them changed my self-perception. Corny but effective.
Where Peterson's Rules Miss the Mark
Honesty time: Some rules feel outdated. Rule 5: "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them" assumes traditional parenting structures. What about single parents? Or cultures with communal child-rearing? Peterson's clinical experience shows here, but it lacks nuance.
Biggest criticism: The biblical references. Rule 9: "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't" spends 30 pages on biblical stories. If you're secular like me, those sections drag. Could've been half as long.
Putting Jordan Peterson's Rules Into Practice
You don't need religious belief to apply these. Here's how I integrated them:
| Rule | My Implementation | Result After 90 Days |
|---|---|---|
| Rule 6: Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world | Decluttered apartment (donated 7 garbage bags) | Clearer thinking, less anxiety |
| Rule 10: Be precise in your speech | Stopped saying "I'm fine" when stressed | Improved conflict resolution with partner |
| Rule 11: Do not bother children when they're skateboarding | Let nephew take managed risks (tree climbing etc) | His confidence soared surprisingly |
The Rule That Transformed My Routine
Rule 7: Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient) changed everything. I quit chasing viral content for my business. Started writing in-depth guides instead. Traffic dropped initially - panic city. But 8 months later? Organic traffic up 200% with better clients. Meaningful work beats quick wins every time.
Common Questions About Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules
Do I need to agree with Peterson's politics to benefit?
Not at all. I lean left politically and still found value. Focus on the psychological tools, not cultural commentary.
Which rule do people struggle with most?
Rule 8: Tell the truth – or at least don't lie. White lies feel harmless until you track them. I caught myself lying to avoid awkwardness 3-5 times daily. Brutal to confront.
Are there good alternatives if this book isn't for me?
Try these practical alternatives:
- Atomic Habits by James Clear ($14 paperback)
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
- Or go old-school with Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
What's the best format to experience the 12 Rules for Life?
Audiobook ($24 on Audible) works well if you commute. Peterson narrates it himself - love or hate his voice. Physical book ($15 paperback) helps for note-taking. Skip the summarized versions; you'll miss context.
Is Jordan Peterson's Program Worth Your Time?
After three years applying these principles, here's my unvarnished take:
The 12 rules for life Jordan Peterson created work best as maintenance, not crisis solutions. When my dad died last year? Rules didn't touch that grief. But during rebuilding phases? Invaluable. They're like psychological hygiene - brushing your teeth for your mind.
Biggest benefit: Shifting focus from changing the world to fixing your corner of it. Cleaned my apartment, repaired relationships, built better habits. Ripple effects followed.
But temper expectations. It won't:
- Solve clinical depression (therapy did that for me)
- Replace community support
- Work if you expect magical transformations
The Verdict on Jordan Peterson's Rules
If you approach the 12 Rules for Life as practical tools rather than gospel, they deliver. I still revisit chapters quarterly. Rule 4 (comparison) and Rule 7 (meaningful work) permanently changed how I operate. Others like Rule 5 (parenting) weren't relevant to me.
Ultimate test: Would I recommend Peterson's book despite criticisms? Yes, but with caveats. Skip the dense mythological parts if they lose you. Focus on actions, not philosophy. And pair it with professional help if dealing with trauma - this isn't a substitute.
One last thing: Peterson's later work gets more political. The original 12 Rules book stands strongest as practical psychology. Approach it that way, and you might just find what I did - not a life overhaul, but better tools for building one.
Leave a Comments